So the 30th Olympiad – that word makes me think, why didn’t Apple release a limited-edition London 2012 Olymp-ipad? (#IfIRuledTheWorld) – anyway where was I, the 30th Olympiad has finished and whilst I feel like I have been harshly dumped by the Olympic Games, I wanted to share my conclusions on the oldest and purest sporting event us humans have:
– London 2012 Logo Is Awful. Seriously. Take a look at the logos through the years. Clearly the designer got drunk, forgot the deadline and had his kid put together something last-minute. Also, the mascot looks like a cartoon penis. Poor show Lord Coe.
– Beach Volleyball Rocks. Literally rocks. Only event I attended and I’m glad I did. A party in the Royal family’s backgarden with cider, cheerleaders, and a hint of sport. Honoured to see Marta Menegatti in action.
– Sports Make Me Cry. I’m not ashamed to say it. Watching these everyday people work their tails off and ultimately end in glory or heartbreak, has me breaking down like the day I watched Braveheart as an 11 year old (I really thought Mel was gonna survive..!). Tip of the cap to Gemma Gibson, Victoria Pendleton, Katherine Grainger, Jessica Ennis, Chris Hoy, Chad La Clos, and about 143 other athletes.
– Do Away With Big-Time Professionals. The Olympics is a once-every-four-years event for amateurs in under-appreciated/funded sports. Watching Federer mail in the tennis final, or the USA basketball team dancing around like kids, or the saga of the Team GB men’s football team is crap and just makes me feel that it should be limited to amateurs. I wouldn’t have tennis or football in the Olympics either.
– Jamacians Are ‘Relay’ Fast. Just fancied using that pun. But seriously, someone get those guys a bobsleigh.
– Usain Bolt Is Awesome. Guy is 6’5″ and is the fastest man on the planet. Something cool about watching him dance, joke and wave like the queen and then smoke those American’s with the full body unitard and game-faces on.
– Athletics Rule The Games. As fun as many of the sports are to watch, the athletics are where its at. Ennis, Farah, Bolt, Rudisha, relays… awesome.
– There Are Some Weird Sports. Pole Vaulting? Greco Roman Wrestling? Judo (what’s with their robes, that bothers me)? Archery (I was expecting Robin Hood bows)? Don’t get me started on Dressage.
– Everyone Suddenly Becomes An Expert. I include myself in the majority of people that suddenly became a sofa-guru at grading gymnastic floor routines, diving form and boxing talent. “Ah, too much splash there… that’ll cost him”
– I Think I Could Make The GB Rio 2016 Handball Team.This is not a joke. This is not a shot at handball as a sport. I love it. I can chuck good. Sign me up.