Golfalyzer: Get Drunk, Player Better!

If you’ve ever played golf in the US, you know that part of the appeal is seeing that cart girl drive towards you on a hot day with a eye-watering six-pack.

Six-pack of beer that is.

Millions of US golfers take to the course each week, load up their cart with beer and head off in search of birdies. Some even believe drinking makes them play better. For one man, that thought created a business.

Untitled-2Brent Pauley has developed the Golfalyzer, a reusable breathalyzer designed to help you find the perfect level of drunkenness for your game.

The Golfalyzer™ is America’s hottest new golf gift! Using the Golfalyzer™, a personal breathalyzer, you will learn that the tipping point of your “zone” is, well, a very delicate thing.

Where’s the punchline? There isn’t one. This is an actual product.

For $24.99 (free shipping) you can measure just how boozed you are and find how many more beers you need in your system to help you break 100.

In fact, the Golfalyzer actually won an award: “2013 Conference Best Product” at the International Network of Golf (ING) Conference.

It is not known whether or not the panel in charge of selecting the awards were themselves drunk. Perhaps they should have used the Golfalyzer to measure whether or not they were sober enough to pick a winner?

<shaking my head>


About jamieonsport

My name is Jamie and I have been addicted to sports since I was 6. As a method of self-prescribed medication for the illness, I thought it would be good to detail my thoughts on the sporting world. So welcome to the workings of my inner-monologue. Join in, ignore, share, laugh, cry, be offended, be inspired, take my ranting however you will, but thanks for checking in.
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